Womens Work

Today is International Women's Day. A day for us to consider how different our lives are to those women in the developing world.

Women carry the bulk of the burden when it comes to poverty - literally.

In countries throughout Africa and Asia, women carry, on average, 20kg at a time in water and firewood - the weight of the standard airport luggage allowance.

Walking for miles to collect basic necessities is a responsibility which usually falls upon women and girls. Tasks which take seconds in the UK can mean backbreaking work in poor communities, preventing girls from attending school and women from paid work.

This comes at a high cost. In some countries, a girl is more likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth than finish primary education.

All across our global community there are women struggling in a harsh and unforgiving climate of hostility, fear, mistrust and insecurity.

 Women and girls across the world are denied choices and opportunity on a daily basis due to poverty and discrimation.

They are treated like second class citizens and denied the freedom that we take for granted.

This is not acceptable in 2012. We must act to stop this betrayal of humanity. We must ensure that Human Rights prevail and that Justice, Fairness, Freedom and Truth are not denied.

We must not allow anyone or any being to suffer cruel and inhumane treatment at the hands of regimes or individuals who seek to control, stifle protest and target dissenters.

We must strive for social change that resists the establishment when it exploits and promotes harm to Any individual or sentient being and betrays their trust.

As any readers to this blog will know by now, my passion lies in promoting a change in attitude and beliefs towards the way we treat our fellow creatures with whom we share this planet. I believe that we cannot stand back and witness cruelty to animals anymore than our forebears who worked for the abolition of slavery and other blatant injustices such as aparthied and torture, and those who work to combat the appalling suffering endured by women, children, and indeed men, all over the world.

So,  although I invest my energy and concentrate my focus on campaigning for a revolutionary approach to overthrow the systems that enforce a lifetime of agony and frustration for animals, my compassion is not limited and myself and my family sponser, through PLAN UK, a young girl from Senegal. Her name is Awa and she is 12 and lives with her mother and father and 2 siblings. Her mother was 16 when she married her father. Awa does not go to school because her parents do not think that it is important for her to do so.

We support Plan's "Because I am a girl" campaign which aims to support four million girls in developing countries to have more choices about what they can do with their lives and to move from a life of poverty to a future of opportunity.

"Currently, 75 million girls around the world are being denied the right to an education, every year, 10 million girls in developing countries are coerced or forced into marriage under the age of 18, with thousands of girls each year giving birth when they are still children themselves"

From Plan's Wesite: http://www.plan-uk.org/

Free Speach is a basic Human Right and those of us who are blessed and have the right to Freedom of Expression need to exercise this right and stand up for those who are Oppressed.

So, today on International Woman's Day, March 8th 2012, do something to raise awareness for those women, for whom survival is an uphill struggle.

£100 can help build a water pump close to a poor community, saving a girl's gruelling daily walk and giving her a fighting chance to fulfil her potential.

This is Annie Lennox, a woman who I believe is one of the greatest campaigners of Woman's rights of our time. Her focus, energy and commitment is palpable and she is definately a most Inspiring Individiual. Annie Lennox deserves nothing less than the utmost respect for her pioneering and passionate work.

She is an Artist and an Activist, two qualities that I admire and strive to be. She is dedicated and dignified in her campaigning and that's why she is the UN Aids International Ambassador, Global Ambassador on Women's issues for Oxfam and Leader of the EQUALS coalition which is a partnership of charities lobbying to end gender inequality.

Annie Lennox saw the huge discrepency in woman's rights in Africa and knew she had to do something.  Her achievements are many and she has drawn public attention to the plight of women and children who endure chronic and endemic poverty. She campaigns against the disempowerment of women and for their right to access basic healthcare in a world where HIV and Aids are the biggest killer of women.

After reading this post, please watch this interview with Annie Lennox on BBC News
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17305262
and feel her passion, anger, frustration and above all desire to keep working for change.

She is ONE TRULY AMAZING WOMAN!

(oh, and one more fact before I finish which I feel I have to add.........................at the end of the above interview, Annie Lennox gives us the following fact: 
In the western world, we spend 3 times MORE on BOTTLED WATER than we do on Development Aid....
Now that's something none of us should be proud of)

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL WOMAN OUT THERE, MY FRIENDS HERE IN PERSON, AND THOSE OF YOU IN  BLOGASPHERE LAND! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING, ARTISTIC AND PASSIONATE AND TOGETHER WE CAN BE THAT COLLECTIVE VOICE FOR CHANGE!

GUILT & GRATITUDE

It's November and 2 years ago, around this time, I sunk into a deep dark depression which was preceded by a panick attack after a particuarly distressing session with a client.  I had allowed my work to take up all my energy resources, both emotionally and physically.

Other people went off with stress, but I prided myself that I wasn't one of them. So, for  me to accept and acknowledge that I needed some time off wasn't easy.

Also I am surrounded by some very strong and resilient colleagues who are so passionate about what they do, that I felt guilty about not being able to carry on.

I have to admit, I do get ground down by the stark realities of my role, and every now and then I want to disappear for a while and hide from the despair that goes with  my job.

I am feeling that familiar feeling of helplessness and distress at the moment. I have let my work get on top of me, I am not good at protecting myself from other people's emotional turmoil, and I have allowed my emotional resources to be drained. I have let my client's project their unhappiness onto me and now I am suffering.

I am feeling guilty that I feel like this when my colleagues are able to stay strong and detatched. I am walking in the office each day projecting my gloom and emotional tiredness onto them and I feel guilty about that too.

Most of the time, I find it a priviledge to be doing what I do. When people who have not met me before, and do not know me from Adam, let me into their lives, and trust me I feel humbled and truly hounoured.

I was listeining to Desert Island Discs the other day,and heard Lord Victor Adebowale. What an inspiring man. He founded Centrepoint, the charity that provides support for young homeless people, and has devoted the last decade to overseeing services for people who are homeless, suffering from drug or alcohol addiction, mental health illness or learning disabilities.

He talked about the pride he feels when sitting alongside the people he has supported and continues to support. He compared the fact that many people spend their lives trying to get power over others, to the fact that people come to services like his and mine, and hand us power to help them change their lives.

And I do agree with him that when you see someone turn their life around and make positive changes, it is a real priviledge and very rewarding.

He said he doesn't get worn down.

I'm afraid that's just fed into my guilt and frustration that I do and am, worn down. I feel more guiltly right now, because I am part time. I work with wonderful colleagues, all of whom are full time, and some of whom, do not have the emotional or physical support that I do. I have Rob which is why I can afford to be part time, and in whom I vent alot of my frustration and despair.

My Friends and colleagues, do not have the luxury of a partner to bring in a 2nd higher wage so they have no option but to work full time, however they seem able to cope better than I even though I am part time.

The truth is staring at me in the face, and has been doing so since I had that mini breakdown.

It is glaringly obvious that I am not cut out for this kind of work.  I love it when I am on top and I find it incredibly rewarding and energizing,even, when I am coping.

However, for much of the time, probably, the majority of the time, I find it drains the life out of me and I want to run and hide.

This is where I am right here, right now. I am feeling unwell from the stress of dealing with people who face such difficulty and emotional and physical challenges.

I have tomorrow off, and I am going to go out for a long walk, do some deep breathing, make some banana bread, see a good friend and just ground myself again.

 And I will remind myself to be grateful that I have what is right here, right now, in this moment, and that is the  inner strengh I have which will me find the outer strengh to carry on supporting my clients.

I need to take comfort and support from what is around me, all those things at the heart of this blog:

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Steams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how  they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare

(Leisure, by WH Davies)


As I have touched on before, we make our own rules and if we place high expectations on ourselves, then we are going to fall.

It doesn't help me to feel guilty that I am struggling within my job role right now and I have to challenge those irrational thoughts of guilt and with the more rational thinking that everything we feel is relevent to us.

I am not as emotionally resiliant as my colleagues and I need to accept that and give myself some time to gather my emotional strengh up. That may mean that I simply need to give myself a few days at work when I don't see as many clients, or it might be that I just need to take some leave.

What I need to do however, is stop feeling guilty because that may just help me to recover from this period of self - doubt and inability. Guilt doesn't work. It is a disabling emotion, not an enabling one. It is negative and holds us back. Guilt weakens our spirit because it creates a conflict inside us. For me, it is how I want to be (emotionally strong and resilient and able to protect myself from the projections of other people's distress), and how I am (unable to put adequate barriers up to protect myself from taking on other people's despair and, as a result becoming run down).

If we set ourselves high standards, we beat ourselves up when we fail to meet them, so we need to lower them and make it easy on ourselves,  therefore giving us fewer opportunities to feel guilty.

Guilt is very restricting and as I have touched on in another post, I am good at believing that I "should" do things to compensate for something or other.

For many years, I felt guilty that I had met a wonderful man and for the life we had created together. I didn't feel deserving of what I had so I compensated by pursuing the line of work I am in now. I felt like I "should" help others and so it is, that for over 10 years, I have been supporting people to realise their hopes and dreams and to fulfill their potential. However, far from easing my guilt, I continue to feel guilty because I come across people who experience such hopelessness and disappointment with their life, that I feel guilty for my life!

So it is, that this guilt drags me down.

I Feel guilty that I am able to be part time when my colleagues have to work full time. So I compensate by putting in extra hours, staying late, not taking a lunch break or coming in early.

And so it is, that this guilt makes me ill because I take on too much!

I feel guilty that my wonderful husband has to go to work every day for long hours, while I have a day off at home and a day to partake in a voluntary role that he would love to have the opportunity to do. So I compensate by trying to get all household things done rather than focus on my interests and activities.

And so it is, that I get frustrated because I don't get to do what I want.

And I want to highlight here, that my gorgeous husband in no way contributes to my feelings of guilt. He actively encourages me to pursue my interests such as writing this blog, gardening, running, walking, arts and crafts, but it doesn't matter how much he tells me not to feel guilty for having the time to pursue them, I still do!

This blog is about my journey to find my vocation, my inner peace and contentment and...............TO STOP FEELING GUILTY and TO JUST BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE AND AM ABLE TO DO!

I have just looked back through my previous posts and have noticed that I have mentioned feeling guilty in both my first post and twice in my 2nd post and then once again in my 5th post.
It is definately a theme that appears runs through my life.

Guilt is optional and it causes conflict within ourselves and resemtment towards others, both of which I am experiencing right now, as I battle with my self to carry on or take some time out, and with the feelings I am experiencing towards my clients that they have made me feel like this.

It is not their fault, I have failed to protect myself, I have tried to give too much to ease the guilt I have over how much I have and it has backfired again.

I do my clients, and myself no favours because if I go off ill, they will suffer, however, if I start to put protective factors in place now so that I avoid being drained of any more emotional resources, I can continue to have the emotional capacity to carry on supporting them without disrupting our work together too much.

So, I will focus on staying in the moment, being grateful for what I have rather than feeling guilty for it and encourage my clients to also see what they have rather than what they haven't.
They have the moment as much as I do. The natural world is on their doorstep as much as it is on mine. They have the possibility of making a change with my support and the support of others, and they have opportunity.

I have seen people literally rise from the ashes and turn thier life around completely. Their stories are inspirational and prove that with the the right attitude and discipline,  diligence and dedication we can achieve our aspiration and follow our vocation in life.

Writing this has helped me acknowledge where I am and why and what I have to do about it. There is alot of power in expressing our thoughts, getting them out of our head. I feel better already and I feel that I can go back to work, actually wanting to go back!

Thankyou for reading!

INSPIRING INDIVIDUALS

These ladies are truly 3 of the most remarkable, resilient, strongest and inspiring people I am proud to know.

I am priviledged to work in an environment where I meet truly remarkable people daily. I am humbled every day to be in the presense of such incredible individuals, some of whom are extremely affected by past events. For some, these experiences have made them strong and resilient, others have very low self esteem and little confidence. Being in a position to support these people to find peace and move forward feels very special. Yesterday I met an absolutely lovely 69 year old lady. This wonderful woman has suffered in ways that no human being should have to. However she has survived because she has an irrepresible spirit and zest for life. She is not bitter at what has happened to her, just disappointed, confused and hurt. She has enourmous resilience and an infectious personality that touches everyone she meets, it has certainly touched me.

 As I write this, I feel very emotional and helpless because I cannot change what has happened, I cannot make it OK. I also feel so angry that a person should have to be subjected to this behaviour from another human being, and I feel terrified and powerless to know that there are so so many others, right now, being harmed.

"Perhaps the point of living is not to be placid and happy and untouched by the world, but to be deeply, painfully sensitive to it, and to see its cruelty and savagery for what they are, and accept all this as readily as we accept its beauty. To be touched by it, moved by it, hurt by it even, but not to be indifferent to it"
John Simpson, Foreign Correspondent

If someone is damaged, frustrated, offended or oppressed, everyone's humanity is diminsished. Empathy, not individuality is key to humanity. We have to build a conscious relationship with ourselves, find the goodness within and take action to support others through the companions of human existence: - illness, poverty, death, hurt, desire and love. Unfortunately, it seems that for too many, their exsistence also means abuse, violence, prejudice and neglect.

"There is too much hatred in this world and children are the innocent victims. Having witnessed its destructive consequences on humanity I am convinced that love is the only power that can defeat it"
Mark Cook, Humanitarian
"The Candle Mark and Caroline (Cook as above quote) have lit seems to offer a precious little light in the darkness that threatens to envelop many of the worlds children. But if others light similar candles, it will grow less dark. There is no knowing what the love" Hope and Homes for Children" seeks to arouse in the human heart might achieve in a hard world"
Lord Deedes
http://www.hopeandhomes.org/?gclid=CPOOuua1_KoCFcFP4QodzR5r1A

We can all support our fellow human beings living by the values of humility, generosity, kindness, compassion, honesty and not being afraid to take a risk.

"Live Boldly, follow your dreams, take risks, look after your friends and smile when the mountain is steepest"
Bear Grylls, Professional Adventurer

"Love, Family, Hope, Goodness, Faith, Dedication, Sacrifice, Trust, Committment, Friendship, Belief and Action"
The Values of the Salvation Army

The people I meet every day, not just through my work, but my friends and family inspire me to live my life according to these simple values. I do this by trying to  follow these simple rules: ( I am not always successful)

• Appreciate  the simple things in life
• A freedom from material desires (have not been so good at this one in the past, but I am getting much better now, as I move towards my goal of living a simple life - it's just stuff!)
• Avoid waste
• Teach economy to my kids
• Avoid greed, fear and peer pressure
• Generosity and Sharing
• Putting others first with kindness, openess, purity and without expectations and conditions (JoyFest cemented these values!)

I also draw inspiration from nature and the natural world. Today I have been inspired by a beautiful September day; watching the birds in the garden, picking the apples and plums off the trees, picking blackberries when we took the dogs out. Now, I am appreciating this first September evening, knowing that we are now on the count down to shorter days, which makes me determined to relish every moment of the last days of Summer 2011 especially because it has been such a Super Summer!

These are some people in the public eye that inspire me and you can read more about some of them in the book by Oliver Chittenden, INSPIRE, Courageous People of Our Time.

"This book is all about people who capture the imagination. People with extraordinary determination and enthusiasm. People who are committed to changing their worlds. People who make us proud. People with no particular natural advantages - and sometimes great burdens - who made the most of what they had and emerged victorious"

Camilla Batmanghelidjh, Champion
of Child Rights
"Love is all it takes,
We aim to return children to their
Childhood
"http://www.kidsco.org.uk/

Mohandas Ghandi (known as Mahatma meaning
"Great Soul"
"Live Simply, so that others can simply live"

David Attenbourgh, Naturalist and Broadcaster
"An understanding of the Natural World and what's in it, is not only a
source of a great curiosity but of great fulfillment"

                                          

 Chris Peckham,A Naturalist, Wildlife photographer and Broadcaster who's knowledge and passion is so uplifting and inspiring.

Bruce Parry, Presenter and Adventurer
"Many of us in the 'developed' world see some sort of global disaster coming. But as modern societies, presently at least, we seem to be continuing in the same vein, feathering our expensive nests, raiding our natural resources, while simultaneously looking romantically over our shoulders at 'how it used to be'"



Eddie Izzard, Actor, Comedian who ran 43 marathons in
51 days!



 

 Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Global Explorer

"My advice  to people wanting to live their dream is encapsulated in a quote from Goethe: "Whatever you can do, or dream you can.................begin it" "

Lone Droscher Neilson, Wildliife Conservationist, founder of the Nyaru Menteng Orangutang  Reintroduction Project.

A Century ago, there were over 230,000 orang-utans in Borneo and Sumatra. But, within the last decade alone, their numbers have fallen by between 30% and 50%. and now only around 7,500 survive in Sumatra and 55,000 in Borneo.

 http://www.savetheorangutan.co.uk/

Waangari Muta Maathai,  founder of the Green Belt Movement, an environmentalist, a civil society and women's right activist and a former parliamentarian.

"In the course of history, there comes a time when humanity is called to shift to a new level of consciousness, to reach a higher moral ground. A time when we have to shed our fear, and give hope to each other

"http://www.greenbeltmovement.org/w.php?id=59

 I love this description of this book because it describes so well, not just the  people in the book, but many whom I have been lucky enough to meet in my life.These are the people who lift my spirit and warm my soul and whose presense on the planet, make it a better place. So, this post is to all of you who have faced such huge challenges and won, you ARE amazing!

Claire Lawrence, Heidi Hill, Ingrid Warren, Rachel Clark, Pete Ewing, Richard Marks, Diane Long, Emma Joynson, Danyell Stimpson, Christine Ewing, Hamish Ewing.

Robbie, Bleu, Matthew, Pen, Sue(s), Kate, Jo, Rach, Ju, Shuna, Rach, Amanda, Lou, Gillian, Jane, Sara, my extended family and so many more who have touched my life and shared their gift.

 



This post is especially dedicated to my Granny who died 16 years ago, but who I think about every day and who inspired me while she was alive, and who continues to inspire me to be a better person every single day of my life. She was the love of my life until Robbie and my children came along, and now I have 4 loves of my life.
She believed in me, didn't judge me and loved me unconditionally, she was the strongest, most wonderful woman I will ever know.