Recipie for a Daily Diet of Happiness!

I have finished work early today because I am starting to wind down in preparation for leaving a position I have been in for nearly 5 years. I feel a mixture of sadness and excitement for myself but I feel a great deal of worry for my clients with whom I have developed effective working therapeutic relationships and for whom this ending will be hard and unsettling.
Many of my clients find it hard to see anything to smile about. They feel there is nothing to feel joyful about and feel that they may never climb out of the black hole they are in.
These people are remarkable individuals with so much to offer and I strive to help them release that potential. I hate to see anyone in pain but I know there is only so much I can do, the rest is up to them. We all have to take control of our lives, not matter how huge the obstacles in our way are. Much of the time, our perception of the challenges we face are far greater than the actual reality, but we are scared to step out of our comfort zone so we go round in the same old cycle of pain and self destruction. Our opinions are not based on fact but we fool ourselves into believing them and so we never actively do something different to test our theorys.
Much of the time, our mental health affects us so greatly that we are consumed with negative emotions such as anxiety and depression which stand in the way of us being able to function properly, think clearly and make changes that can ultimately only help increase self esteem and self belief.
I see people stuck in this rut all the time, and it is sad, frustrating and heart breaking.
But I truly believe that if we can all just incorporate 1 of the activities below in our lives daily with the goal of increasing them, we can lead a better quality of life. I know, I'm living proof that it works! and I know because I have seen my clients slowly recover as they put these small challenges into place.

Here are a few thoughts gathered from my own experiences and other sources about how we can all enhance the quality of our lives and make the most out of every moment we are blessed to be given!

• Walk for at least 20 mins every day and SMILE!

• Sit quietly for at least 10 mins every day

• Write down a list of your goals each night for the next day. This can help you to feel organised which frees you from that feeling of not knowing where to start!
• Listen to relaxing music, it is good nourishment for the soul

• Dance!
• Live the 3 "E's" - Enjoyment, Enthusiasm and Empathy
• Tap into your Silly Self and make your kids laugh!

• Read thought provoking, interesting and life changing books
• Look at the sky at least once daily and appreciate the majesty of the world that surrounds us

• DayDream!

• Eat more Plant based foods
• Eat less manufactured foods
• Drink plenty of water
• Eat dinner as a family and make a toast every day to something good that has happened that day
• Try to make at least 3 people laugh every day

• Don't spend your precious time immersed in negative thoughts or things beyond your control. Instead, concentrate on what you can change. It is better to invest your energy in the postive present
• Life is a school and we are here to learn. Problems are lessons that come and go. What we learn from them will serve us for the rest of our lives
• Always eat breakfast to give you energy to face the challenges the day may bring. FOOD IS MOOD!
• Elimate clutter in your home and let a new energy enter your life
• Smile and Laugh More Often

• Do not let the opportunity pass to Hug a Friend

• Life is too short to waste time hating someone
• Don't take yourself too seriously, No one else does!

• Make peace with your past, so as not to ruin the present
• It's not neccessary to win every argument. Assertiveness is about being heard not gettig what you want.
• Don't compare your life with others. You have no idea of the highways they have travelled during their lives. Walk in their shoes before commenting!
• Nobody is responsible for your happiness except yourself
• Remember that we have no control over what happens to us, only what we do
• We cannot change how someone else behaves, only our reactions towards them.
• What others think of us is not completely under our control. We cannot be liked by everyone!
• Learn something new every day, a new word, a new fact, a new activity, a new song etc...

• Appreciate your body, it's marvellous
• Remember, hard times WILL pass. Situations WILL change
• Stay in touch with Friends. They will always be there for you.



These are my 2 OLDEST Friends!! Pen is on my left and she is the photographer responsible for the photos in this post and for many of the pictures in previous posts! Rach is on my right and she has the MOST adorable 2 little girls!

• Reject everything that is not useful, beautiful or amusing
• Don't loose time. We already have all the things we need
• Don't be afraid to Cry. BE EMOTIONAL, it's good for you!


• The best is yet to come

• Do something for someone EVERYday


• Each Day, before going to sleep, Acknowledge something postive that has happened that day
• Remember, we have too much that is good to be stressed

 

• Your health is your most important gift. Look after it
• Don't miss the Beautiful

• Enjoy the voyage. There is only 1 chance to be successful
• Life is beautiful, You must appreciate it as much as possible
• FEED THE BIRDS!

• Have a wonderful journey!

Sadness and Solace

I have just driven Matthew to work and passed the little lambs that I see daily on this journey. It seems with every day, there are additions to the fold. Today there were 2 tiny lambs sleeping next to their mother and my heart melted with joy, closely followed by despair, pain and sadness when I think of their fate.

March is Animal Aid's Vegge Month. A month to encourage people to turn Vegetarian (less scary than Vegan!). I urge anyone reading this, to please log onto the Animal Aid Website to see how you can start on the road to saving the lives of the billions of farmed animals around the world. You will be able to order a free copy of their "Guide to Going Veggie".
http://www.animalaid.org.uk/h/n/CAMPAIGNS/vegetarianism/ALL///

There has been alot of terrible, heartbreaking news this week...........
What is happeing in Syria and in particular the city of Homs; the sad news of the death of PC Rathband and the awful news of the death of 15 yr old  Magalie Bamu at the hands of the his sister and her boyfriend.
Just tragic and incomprehendable.

Add that to all the other awful atrocities that happen daily all over our globe, and it can be hard to find something to smile about especially  if we are going through our own personal darkness.

I know that if I didn't have my family to depend on I may well sink into a well of hopelessness and misery with the knowledge that there is so much pain and desturction in this world. I have done exactly this many times throughout my life but Rob keeps me balanced and he listens to my rantings and pain, he lets me cry and then he reasons with me and shows me the way forward.

Up until Joyfest last Summer, I religiously bought the Saturday Guardian and Independent on Sunday. This was the way I kept in touch with what was going on in the world. However, I often would find myself feeling distressed and disturbed by the tragic events that seem to happen daily and I found that this affected me profuoundly to such an extent that I would not be able to forget what I had read or seen. Not only that, but I often found little time to read the papers at the weekend, so they would pile up which ended up only causing more stress because I determined to read them, having bought them and feeling the need to inform myself of world events.  I would end up reading a paper 2 or more weeks after I had bought it and the cycle just continued!

Rob would ask why I caused myself the distress of reading news that upset me so much, and added pressure upon myself to read them even if it was a month or 2 later!

I always told him that I needed to keep myself informed because it is important that we all keep ourselves informed about the tragedy that besets so many so that we don't forget and we can make the little changes in our lives that could cause those ripples that may effect a brighter future for all our fellow relations.

I still absolutely and firmly believe this to be true. But I am no longer forcing myself to buy the paper in order to keep myself informed. I have decided to read books which is something I have never had the time to do (because any reading time was reading out of date newsprint!) and to read what interests me. And because what interests me is keeping myself informed of national and international issues that do not affect me directly, safe as I am in my own little corner of the globe, they affect me indirectly and by reading books on subjects such as Animal Welfare, Rainforest Destruction, Ethical Consumerism, Africa among others, I can both release the pressure that comes from piles of newspapers and give my full attention to 1 subject at a time.

I believe we need to watch footage and read eye witness articles to force into action even if it is painfully heartbreaking and causes us to feel hatred and anger amidst the pure incomprehension of how we exist on the same planet as this destruction by humans.

I struggle to watch the Videos by the Animal Aid, SPEAK, Uncaged, PETA among many others. But when I feel strong enough, that is what I do.

Rob wishes I wouldn't because it causes me terrible, indescribable distress, but it is by forcing myself to watch, that I am now making the ripples that I am. They are small ripples I know, but I hope they will build into bigger ripples within my immediate community which will support the workof Animal Aid and all the other charities fighting for change, compassion and a cruelty free world.

So.......with the newsevents this week, yes it could be hard to raise a smile this weekend and very easy to wallow in the awfulness of the world. ..............

However, where there is evil, there is far more good. Where there are negatives, there are far more positives.

Look for the positives in your life.
Live each day as if it were your last.
Enjoy every moment because in any given moment, that's all you have.
Embrace those little things that cause you to be grateful, there are so many.
Remember that for every mean and ignorant individual, there are far more of us that are good and striving for change.
Find your solace in all of the above

Last night, we had a knock at our door. It was the lovely local lollipop lady. She had bought a pile of dolphin momentos for Bleu. She knew that Bleu loves dolphins and when her daughter was throwing out a load of dolphin pictures and posters, she immediately thought of Bleu.

This lady is one of those people who you want to be around all the time. She is selfless and dedicates alot of her time to making the local school children feel special and valued.

Last night was just 1 of many acts of kindness that she plays out every day.

This is the true human nature. The atrocities that we hear about and that so many of our fellows have to bear witness to are committed by the minority.

Human nature is by default, kind, generous, compassionate, good, caring and respectful. That is really who we are and it is important not to loose sight of that.

So, all we can do is use our positive qualities to the advangage of our local communities and wider circles, and in that way, we can all contribute to a better world and find some solace.

Read my next post for some ideas on how to make yourself and others feel better!

Children, Changes and Choices.

This is a picture of my daughter whose zest and joy for life melts my heart and lifts my spirits every day.
Bleu has a beautiful energy that radiates from her in every moment. She is a perfect example of the importance of living in and for the moment and I often wonder at her spirit of play and contentment.

This is my son who also has an impressive engergy and passion for life and of whom I am immensely proud.
Matthew turns 17 next Friday and I can honestly say he has grown into a self reliant, quietly determined young man with a streak of the ridiculous! His tenacity and dedication to his job and future career is nothing short of incredible and I hope he will never loose his focus.

I hope that both my Children have a deep down sense of self which comes from always knowing the unconditional love of their family.

This is my husband who, as I have mentioned many times in previous posts, holds us all together with his love, protection, guidance, judgment and perspective. He offers us all a firm, supporting hand and a warm heart and strives for us all to be comfortable and happy. Rob is determined to enjoy life even though he is presently stuck in a job which can sometimes drain him of his hopes and dreams.  However, a weekend soon fixes that and Rob will once again display the drive and dedication that enables him to make the most of what he has here and now. He is a good and loyal husband and father and We are a very lucky family, and I hope a unit that is so tight, it is unbreakable.

Alot of things are changing for us as a family right now and it has been unsettling for all of us. Bleu and Matthew appear to have remained rather unaffected but it's difficult to believe that, on some unconscious level, they are not a little anxious.

Both our house and narrow boat are up for sale, and we are really just playing a waiting game now which we hope will happen by Summer.

So, my journey since starting this blog, has always had this end goal in site, and we are at the half way mark now!

Our goal is to buy an exsisting boarding kennels which we can love and nurture and make into a profitable, ethical and comfortable business so that we can concentrate on living and enjoying life. We aim to become self sustainable and to really live as simple a life as is possible as I have described in past posts.

We would like to make enough money to have the essentials and feel comfortable but we aim to concentrate on our other skills to achieve self fulfilment. Rob will make his pottery and I will concentrate on making the world a better place for our fellow inhabitants, and making part of our home, an animal sancturary.

So, our family unit is about to tested in a way it has not experienced before. But I know we'll make it and become stronger. There is so much about our old life that I will miss, so the challenge will be to make our new life as full and enjoyable as possible so that the pain of what we have left behind becomes manageable.

Family helps us to make clearer choices. Obligations become clearer and there are huge responsibilities. However, those responsibilities need not be an obstacle to creativity. In fact, we have realised that the discipline of nessecity is a Very good creative spur.

So we are moving forward into the unknown. Something that we have wanted to do for so long, but until now, the time never seemed right, it wasn't right for our Kids.

Now though, the time has come to focus our responsibilities and obligations on making something sustainable and creative, which will benefit our children and give them a legacy of 2 parents that feel so blessed and amazed each day at the wonder that is Bleu and Matthew.

Follow the journey here!

Renewed and Restored (for the wonderful Sue H)

It is the 1st March. It is Animal Aid's Veggie Month!

The Sun is REALLY shining! The birds are REALLY singing and sound happy!

Could Spring finally, really be here?I went out for a walk earlier with the "pack" and saw a pair of bluetits chasing after each other. I immediately thought of the term "twiterpating" from Bambi! Thats what they were doing, TWITERPATING!

The Great tits were singing their distinct call to each other, the robin was singing his beautiful song and our resident sparrows are definately in the process of building their nest!

 The days are getting longer, it's still light at 6pm. Spring is definately peeking over the horizon! and only 3 weeks ago, I was enthralled at all the tiny footprints left by all these birds as they foraged in the snow for food in the garden.

There are lambs in the fields and this is the time when our incomprehendable and brutal treatment of animals is most evident. These gorgeous little creatures are destined for only one place...............
The slaughter house, just so they can end up on the plates of millions of individuals for Sunday lunch.
I drive past some of these beautiful bundles of innocence and legs every morning and my heart swells with joy,warmth and happiness, feelings which are closely followed by an all consuming sadness and a real CUTTING  pain in my heart when I think of their fate.

WHY DO WE CALL THESE DEAR, GORGEOUS, LEGGY BUNDLES OF JOY, SYMBOLS OF SPRING WHICH IS ABOUT NEW LIFE AND LIFE REBORN,  WHEN WE ARE ONLY GOING TO SEND THEM TO A TERRIBLE, TERRIFYING AND INHUMANE SLAUGHTER?
WHY?

WHY???

The Dawn chorus is edging out of an empty black space, at the moment, it is tentative and almost fragile but it is definately getting stronger and earlier!

And I am feeling an alien feeling which I haven't felt for what feels like a really long time!

I have a positive energy that has been a stranger to me for what feels like an eternity and I have a vague anxiety that it won't last.

Although, I feel differently this time. More enegised and focused, inspired, optimistic and determined than I remember feeling before. I am determined to dedicate my spare time to being part of a movement campaigning to make a better, safer and compassionate world for the other beings that share my world.

Any of my close friends and certainly my husband and kids will say that I am like a wheel and that I go through these cycles of highs and lows; however, this last low, has lasted rather longer than I would have anticipated.

I have functioned, as described in my last posts but, it has been a continuous battle and  I have not always been the ray of light and beacon of hope that I strive to be! Far from it actually! More the voice of doom and the grim reaper!!!

I would like to take this opportunity to say to all my wonderful friends and to my beautiful family......

THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU!!!!#

Unfortunately, none of them read this apart from the Very Special SUE H who has not only supported me while I've been Mrs Morose, but has been there for me even when she has been dealing with so many of her own health concerns.

SUE H is my biggest and 1 of 2 supporters and readers of this blog. For that I am so truly grateful and honoured. SUE H is a friend who  REALLY seems to  understand what I am trying to achieve in my life and why! SUE H shares my Values and Beliefs and that is why she reads the blog!

 And here I am STILL, with no readers apart from the Beautiful SUE H AND the Very Lovely Vikki with whom I have shared a lovely morning with today and who was the creative genius to whom I owe the beautiful ivy embroidery and all my lovely dragonflies and butterflies that covered my JoyFest Gown,Headress and button bouquet!

Vikki's husband to be is a fellow Vegan and concerned other about our lack of respect and compassion towards our fellow world inhabitants.

We have been invited to share a Vegan dinner with Vikki and John and I am so looking forward to meeting a fellow vegan IN my community and WITHIN my circle of Friends!!!

And so, with my newly restored energy, which feels sustainable and creative, I have decided that the time has come, to dive even deeper into the 21st Century and join  Facebook so that maybe in this way I can:....
1- Link this blog to it and actually find some like minded individuals who won't be bored stiff by reading it!
and
2- Most importantly, connect with local, national and international Vegans, and individuals who share my concerns about the way we treat other members of the Animal Kingdom, and who are part of the biggest movement in the world: The Animal Rights Movement.

So, here I go, into the world of social networking. I hope it won't be the FaceAche that my Adorable Friend Anna calls it!!!

I'm doing it for my Fellow Sentient Beings whom I share this world with, and for whom I want to make it a safer, more compassionate and completely cruelty free place.

I write this blog as a record for myself,  but also in the hope that someone, somewhere, someday, WILL log on because they share some of my views and may become a blogasphere Friend!

So, I end on the same old note.

I am off to get some readers!!!!

Valuable Virtues

Since getting back into the blogasphere, I have documented my decline into the Winter Woes and my ascent back to the New Year Hope!

I thought I'd do some research into what some of the Values that help me to appreciate what I have, actually mean.

Here is what I have come up with:

HAPPINESS

When one's spiritual needs are met by an untroubled inner life.
Happiness comes when your words and deeds are of benefit to yourself and others.

TRANQUILILTY

The Peace that comes when energies are in  harmony and relationships are in balance.

LOVE

An inspired form of giving, love breathes life into the heart and brings grace to the soul.

COURAGE

Not the absence of fear or despair, but the strengh to conquer them.

WISDOM

Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed.

PEACE

To bring peace to the earth, Strive to make your own life peaceful.

I feel that these explanations sum up what I strive to achieve.

I believe that Happiness and Peace are  by products of GOODNESS, and that GOODNESS is:
Honesty; Truthfulness; Compassion and Kindness.

Courage is fundamental in enabling us to act kindly even when we're afraid; to be able to exercise good and steady judgement even in the midst of confusion and panick; to continue to do what we believe is right even when loud voices are urging us to do otherwise; To take risks; To boldly go and that the greatest danger in life is not having the courage to take in the adventure.

Everyone needs to be Loved and to Love.  Without that, people have no purpose or hope.
I know this because I have met people in my field of work, who truly have No-One.  For them, Life is extremely Bewildering, Lonely, and Painful.

I recently read that nationally, 21,000 elderly people are left needing paupers' funerals each year because they have no money to pay for their burial and no one else will pay or organise the ceremony. These people are buried in unmarked shared graves.

Love gives you a sense of self. Love is solidarity and cooperation. Love Nurtures us and gives us Strengh and Hope.

Wisdom comes from learning from life's experiences. Not being reactive and self protective but having foresight and self-critical awareness. Being Active, Curious and Enquiring of mind.

I am not wise yet, but I have learnt so much from my life experiences, both good and bad, and I use my knowledge to enhance my life now. I also have a fascination and love of  discussion although I enjoy listening more than taking part. I try and stay neutral in the face of opposing forces and from the centre, I can see clearly, consider calmly and Act desisively.

, I guess happens when we have all of the above. I'm getting there but still have much to learn in my quest for living a fulfilling life.

CARING FOR MY FAMILY is MY guiding Principle which incorporates ALL of the above and I value the Tranqulity that this brings to my life.

My family help me make definate choices about things and my obligations are clearer.  I have a responsibility but that necessity is in no way an obstacle to creativity because, actually the discipline of necessity is a very good creative spur.

Is IS because of my Husband and My Children that I am who I am.  I still want to be so much more and I know that the strengh they give me will ensure that I keep striving for self actualisation through living these values and practising what I preach.

And now I am going to wrap up warm and go and wonder at the Beautiful, Clear Night Sky that we have tonight, Full of twinkling stars and Frosty Underfoot and it will not be hard to Value all of the above Virtues and Many More.

Kind Considerations

"If you have Food in your Refrigerator, Clothes on your back,
A Roof Overhead and
A Place to Sleep

You are Richer than 75% of this World

If you have Money in the Bank,
In your Wallet and
Spare Change in a Dish some Place.....

You are among the top 8% of the World's Wealthy

If you Woke up this Morning with
More Health than Illness.....

You are more Blessed than the Million who will not Survive this Week

If you have never experienced the danger of Battle,
The Lonliness of imprisonment,
The Agony of Torture,
Or the pangs of Starvation.....

You are ahead of 500 Million people in the World

If you can attend a Church Meeting without
Fear of Harassment, Arrest, Torture or Death......

Your are more Blessed than Three Billion people in the World

If your Parents are Still alive and  married......

You are Very Rare

If you Hold Up your Head with a Smile on your Face
And are Truly Thankful.....

You are Blessed because the majority Can
But Most Do Not

If you can read this.....

You are more Blessed than over
Two Billion people that cannot
Read or Write.

Have a Good Day and Count your Blessings"

This is an edited extract of a message I was sent while I struggling, perhaps to remind me that, although my "issues" are relevant, They are of little relevance in the grand scheme of things.

And while messages like this "could" send me into a great hole of despair, they don't because I have support and love in my life which stops me from focusing on what I can't do, and encourages me to concentrate on what I CAN do!

I find the world a painful place, full of destruction and greed.

But I know there is also hope and goodness, and it is those Positive Forces that I am exposed to Every Day.  

They give me the strengh to know that those negative forces can and will be overcome. 

All I have to do is keep hold of the Peace and Joy that I am blessed with and use that strengh to stay motivated in my desire to be part of radical and progressive change in my own small way (for now at least....!)

And that small way, for now, is raising awareness through campaigning, letter writing, giving school talks and blogging (!)

I hope, by the end of this year, I will be doing something more practical, at least towards Animal Welfare as well as continuing all the above.

So, my goal now is to be pro-active and get some readers to this blog!

No more Neglecting the Blog!

 I need readers otherwise this is just a diary of my thoughts, hopes and desires,  rather than a way of reaching out to others who may also share my values and can offer advice and encouragement!

Thankyou for Reading!

Winter Woes, Neglected Blog, Naughty Time!

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to now the difference"

(The serenity prayer by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr)

Well, here I am, 2 months from my last post. I have let that naughty time get away from me. November and December seemed to be very full months and I just didn't seem able to find the time to sit down and write! Goodness knows, I needed to explore my thoughts and type away, but the opportunity didn't present itself and I have neglected the blog!

I have experienced a Wedding; A Birth; 3 Birthdays; 2 Job Applications (and subsequently 2 interviews); A School Christmas Fayre;  An athletics presentation; A Christmas School Play; An unhappy incident at school; Christmas; A visit to a potential new home and business and of course, the start of a New Year!

These experiences have meant that I have been a Birthing Partner (which was surreal!); spent lots of time with Precious Friends and Family; been both proud and distressed; learnt so much about what our future may hold and made most of my Christmas Presents or bought them 2nd hand, both quite time consuming but cheaper and more personal.

All the above has meant I have had to be social, patient, happy, interested, focused and active.
Unfortunately I have found it hard to feel any of those things at times over this last 2 months and have been carrying a deep discontent within me. I have felt that I am "on the edge" much of the time and feel that I have carried on doing what was expected of me, while only giving as much that has sustained the impression of being wholehearted.

I have felt Chronically but vaguely unwell and everything has felt like a huge effort and very exhausting. I believe this has been a symptom of those Winter Woes.

However I feel as if I have turned a corner this week. I still feel a little unsettled because of work issues and also because of the decision we have made to move which has resulted in us getting the house ready to put on the market, a time consuming task, lots of things to pack up and cleaning to be done!

But, I believe that with the New Year, I have emerged from that winter gloom!

The mornings and evenings are still dark and it is cold and can be gloomy, but I can feel the New Spring on it's way, and I can now enjoy what is left of winter without all the business of the Festive Season and what that involves which is, frankly, tiring!

It is a glorious day today, we had a pretty heavy frost last night, and  it has been a beautiful morning, the sun is out and the sky is blue and I am reminded that the most exciting time of all is the shining here and now and to embrace the simplicity of life rather than to focus on what feels difficult.

I am plagued with the knowledge that there is so much wrong with the world. Today I am worried about the birds because it is due to get colder over the next week. My thoughts are NEVER far away from the outrageous abuse of animals in factory farms and laboratories and I continually feel desperate sadness for my fellow human beings for whom finding anything beautiful in life is almost impossible, and many of those individuals live in my, yours, our community.

But I know that if I allow this awareness to overwhelm me, I will continue to find life exhausting and be unable to embrace those moments of joy.

So, I will continue to strive to be pro-active, compassionate and generous of spirit and to do everything I can towards making positive changes in those issues I feel passionately about.

I know I have to accept that I can only do what I can. My energy resources are, sadly, not as extensive as I'd like. Physically I feel fit and healthy, but my emotional energy resources are easily drained and I need to factor that into my plans!

With so much happening this year, I may be restricted in what I can do but I just need to be realistic with my goals, Not set myself up to fail, and most importantly, Not to let other people down by enthusiastically agreeing to something that I probably won't have the time or energy to do!

Hence, the Serenity Prayer says it all.  Make a Mark on the world; Make a Difference; Make an impression; Matter; Contribute to Change and Don't let Uncertainty hold you back.  Listen to your instinct and Heed your Values and Beliefs......... Just don't drain your resources doing it.

Seize Opportunity
Dream Big
Have Hope and Vision
Believe in the impossible
Live each day as if it might be your last
Connect with Nature
Strive to Make a Difference and
Listen to your Heart, Mind and Body