Wednesday, 2 May 2012

A Chapter of Changes

It feels good to be here, It's been too long.
But the intervening time has given me alot to write about.
I have undertaken rather a change of Direction and entered a new chapter of my life.
One door has most Definately Closed but others have opened. My life is about to become very different.
I am finding this difficult. I think I may have bloggers block. I have not had the chance to write for over a month and Writing Freely is not coming easily! I don't know where to start?
I have missed writing, I have missed being able to read my Fellow bloggers Journeys. I have missed the connection I have with You All.

So here I am trying to make that connection again through a stream of conscious writing, trying to become more aware of my self talk, that subvocalising I engage in most of my waking hours!
Bear with me, I'll start at the beginning!

Friday 30th March saw the end of my career as a Drug & Alcohol Worker. I have been working in this Field for almost 10 years. Starting out working with Young Carers whose Parents experienced problems with Substance Use, then onto working with the Young People themselves and the last 4 years I have been working directly with Adults wanting to make positive changes in their Substance Use.

This rather abrupt end to my Drug & Alcohol Career was forced upon me because of Funding cuts and a complete disregard for the clients I supported. I have felt angry and frustrated for the clients whom I was supporting and for whom that support has been cut short.  I also feel an emptiness because there has no been closure and I am unable to let go of the journeys that I was supporting my clients in.
However, in an effort to move on, I have now been privileged and lucky enough to have started work for a completely Unique and Special Organisation supporting individuals who have been diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia. This is a specialised role for which I have now had extensive training, which  served as a distraction from what was happening within my job and has helped me to come to terms with the situation I found myself in. I cannot speak for how my (now) ex clients feel however. Have they come to terms with how they have been treated by a governement who don't see a need for the service myself and my colleagues were providing? I doubt it.

I am also going to be starting with what seems to be another Amazing Orgainsation which does exactly what it says:... exsists to serve the people it supports. I will be doing very similar work, this time supporting people who have sustained Head Injuries.

I am still pinching myself that I have landed both these roles and don't think I have really understood yet what this will mean for me! I will miss, I do miss my clients and working in the Substance Misuse Field. I hope the work I did with them enables them to take the opportunities they are offered in life. The skills I developed in this role are what have enabled me to be offered these 2 new opportunities. For this, I am truly grateful and will for ever be in debt to those I supported for what I in fact learnt from them.  It is because of them that I have this chance to expand my knowledge and skills and to be able to continue supporting those in need.

Certainly for the immediate Future, I am going to be working more hours than I have done over the last year, going back to full time employment which will include some Saturdays. I am excited about this challenge but a little concerned about the impact it may have on my daughter who has become used to me being around to pick her up from school at least a couple of times a week.

However, I know she understands why I have chosen to take these roles. New opportunities, new Challenges but most of all, a chance to work towards supporting people to live well and to be able to be part of two grassroots  organisations working within my local community and making positive changes to the lives of People who are experiencing Difficulties.

This also changes our plans for our immediate Future. Our house remains up for sale but the committment of running an Animal Sanctuary, for now, feels on the back burner.

I have taken roles which involve me working closely on an individual basis with people, building relationships based on trust and respect. These relationships can be central to an individual's recovery and I have to focus on this committment for the forseeable future.
Life has a funny way of panning out doesn't it?
The Long Term plans still remain the same of course. I will never be fully content or feel I have reached my True potential until I am actively doing the same for Animals in need as I am doing for Humans in need!

The day I hold the first Baby Lamb whose mother I have rescued, will be the day I know that I am closer to "home" than I have yet been!

As I wrote In the First post of DragonFly Aspirations I believe what will be will be but I also
believe that through our own force of will and intellect, we chart our own path through life. By making the right choices, we can all be predestined for something great. It is our own free will that mucks it up. Sometimes we can be yanked dramatically off this path by fate, chance or coincidence; The people who intersect us on our path can change what our fated destiny is for better or worse. One event might be the catylyst for a thousand other things. However, if we take the opportunities life gives us and use them to our advantage, I believe pretty much anything is achievable!

I worked hard to be in a position where I could take these recent opportunities. I applied for countless roles before I was interviewed for these positions. Now I understand why I wasn't offered the other roles. They were'nt meant to be. The opportunities that have presented themseves for me to grab with both hands are roles that I will relish, I will learn from and can give so much to, and get so much back.

I believe I am being yanked from the path towards running Harmony Boarding Home & Animal Sanctuary because it is not the right time yet. The house hasn't sold because we are in a recession. Our savings are floating on the Gloucester Canal in the shape of our old faithful Narrow boat and who wants to buy a narrow boat in a recession?!

Until such time as we have the money that is tied up in both these properties, we can't entertain the idea of achieving our aspirations.

So, new horizons beckon for now. The outlook has a slight variation to how it looked when I last posted. That was before we recognised the impact of this recession, and most importantly, before two interview panels believed in me and placed on me the hope that I can help them develop the frontline work that supports people with Early Onset Dementia or Traumatic or Acquired Head Injury to lead meaningful and fulfilled lives.

"The point is, Not to survive, but to thrive with passion, compassion, humour and style"
Maya Angelou

This is my interpretation of the events of the last few weeks anyhow and I see meaning and experience as being  interactively constructed - We have the experience and we must interpret that experience for ourselves. There is no reality beyond our own expectations.

My reality is My Family, My Friends, My Hopes, Dreams & Aspirations and my Role in my Community....................That was to support those affected by Substance Use. However, because of events beyond my control and because the local Powers that be believed that my clients didn't deserve that individual support anymore, My Role in the Community has altered.

I want to give my New Role as much as I gave my Old Role and that means Committment, Dedication and Perseverance. So for now, that gives little room for bigger projects; But For Now is Not For Ever and who knows, maybe an opportunity will arise to combine the two!
So, I sign off for now. With my new roles, my time for Blogging will become more limited and I shall probably have periods such as my recent Break from Blogging when I don't get to write.

But for now, it's good to be back and I hope to post again Before Long!